Adult Survivors of Childhood Sexual AbuseChildhood Sexual Abuse
Childhood sexual abuse is alarmingly common. The effects can be numerous, devastating, and long-lasting. Common struggles a survivor can face after being abused include anxiety, depression, shame, anger, substance use, and sexual difficulties. Often children will refrain from disclosing the abuse, leading them to live in isolation and denial, sometimes for decades. While adults of all ages may seek help, it is more common for people in their 40’s and 50’s to initiate therapy.
Frequently, as people age, life circumstances change. Survivors may become “empty nesters” or they may be nearing retirement age, and have more free time to reflect on childhood trauma. They then begin to see their past experiences as more troublesome than they had previously thought. Other times, a single event opens a floodgate of memories. For example a survivor’s child becomes the age they were when they were abused, or they reach the age of their perpetrator. These events allow them to see their past situation as having been harmful. As an adult of any age, regardless of the catalyst, coming to terms with the reality of the abuse and its consequences on one’s own can be overwhelming.
Sorting through the complexities of past childhood sexual abuse is a complicated—often long—process. Working with childhood sexual abuse is a speciality. Not all therapists are prepared to do this work. To get good results, and not cause further harm, it should be done with a trained, experienced therapist.
“For a long time I blamed myself.”
Survivors share their stories.
“Adult survivors are living with the pain...”
Fired-Brown outlines the complexities of sexual abuse
How to recovery from abuse
There is no one timeline for recovery from childhood sexual abuse; however, for most people, it tends to be a longer process–months or even a year or more. Unpacking trauma takes time and needs to be done with intent at a pace that is comfortable to the client. The overall framework involves revisiting the trauma, reframing it as “abusive”, redirecting blame to the perpetrator, and then rewriting the narrative through an adult lens and vocabulary, a narrative that is more accurate than the one created as a child. This process is designed to make the client feel empowered and go from a victim, to a survivor, to a thriver.
While the trauma needs healing, it is also often accompanied by other life difficulties. Thus, it is important to balance trauma work with other non-trauma related therapeutic goals. Through the therapy process, you will also learn Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) skills. Think of DBT as a skillset that provides a person tools to become mindful as well as effectively manage interpersonal situations, navigate distress and regulate their emotions.
Myth: Most survivors of sexual abuse are women
Reality: People of all genders are susceptible to being abused as children. Sexual abuse does not discriminate against gender, race, sexual identity or socioeconomic class.
Michael Cook, MA, LPCC